Dating Porn

Dating Porn:As I said in my mission trip post, I shared about my struggle with porn.   Well one of the days a kid was talking to me and Ben just about our struggles and life.  He asked the question of how far I have went when a girl.  I responded that I have never dated.  He was taken back and bit but then came back with “maybe because you didn’t date was because you were finding love and fulfillment in porn.”  I forgot got where the conversation went after that I think Ben said something.  But as I looked back on that I think of this.  Maybe in a way I dated Porn for my high school years.  I thought that was my full of girls which in a way it was.  But the way I viewed girls outside of porn was so much different then what I viewed the girls in porn.   In porn they were objects of lust.Out of porn they were young women and I had to respect them.  I could not call them hoes and sluts.  Or say they were hot.  I just didn’t do that.Why I don’t know I didn’t want to date because I wanted to find the one I didn’t want no stupid high school relationship that was going to last a few weeks.  I wanted real love.  But their is where the Porn came in.  I think because I viewed Porn as an object along with the girls it made me want something so much better in real life.  I wanted a strong Christian girl that knew what she believed in.  I hated seeing kids in school just go out with someone because they thought they were hot or what ever.  Where is the real love or connection other then I just want to make out with you.  I just find it odd that with me viewing Porn that I never went out and dated.  But then again Porn was my girlfriend.  Some thoughtsend.